By Emilie Gruben.
I was recently replying to a letter from a young friend who had moved a few years ago. Within the middle years of ‘not a child’ but not exactly ‘a young woman,’ she resides at 12. She wrote, telling me that her mother was expecting, and that she was often unable to do many things because of her morning sickness wiping her out, so often. My young pen pal was cooking all the meals for the large family every day. The oldest of the children, taking on the task for her mother and loved ones. I wrote to her, saying how proud of her I was for her taking care of her family, and for using her talents and time to help others. Servant heartedness is so precious. So simple and delicate. But when is it not so virtuous?
In our society, being servant hearted fades into the background so much so that it is barely there. A clamor of “self-care,” “boundaries,” and “loving yourself” are shouted from the rooftops. Doing things for others is looked down upon, quite often, unless it’s for someone’s personal gain like volunteering because “helping people makes you feel better.” True selflessness is practiced, like any other mind-driven action. Patience, kindness, and self-lessness each take time to make your immediate reaction be such. When trials come, you will not often be immediately driven to help. Perhaps you don’t want to give up your birthday money to help with that financial need. Or maybe you had plans for that day, and you don’t particularly want to go clean your sick sister’s carpets. Humans are selfish. Animals are selfish. But we are separate from anyone else on earth. And that is because we have souls. We were created in the image of God to do His will. We must discern how to do it. I will do my best to give a few examples and scriptures to help broaden your view of this topic, as follows.
Are you too young? This is the main question. Taking on too much while too young. In times past, there was never too young, but there was “too old.” All throughout history, children have been given responsibilities that rival what would be expected of today’s adults. During the Great Depression, many children found work from neighbors and businesses to help their families in their financial trials. In Colonial periods, children, especially young boys, worked alongside their fathers to build the very cities they would live in. This practice continued all throughout history. Young girls were often married before they were 16 and had families of their own. Children were held to a standard of learning that would equip them for the real world-something that is rarely known, today.
Learning to do laundry, cook, clean, sew, change the oil and tires on a car, or even vacuum can be seen as “too much” for a young person to learn. It’s “a mother’s task” to know how to fold clothes and iron slacks. I’ve met many girls my age who had no clue how to start a clothes washer, or had learned to scramble eggs at the startling age of 16. Society has deemed the younger generations to an unfit standard, sources even saying that the frontal lobe of the brain, (the part by which we form rational thoughts), does not even develop until the individual is 25 years old. This has become somewhat of an excuse for young adults, today, who wish to be absent from responsibilities, large decisions, or being held accountable for their actions and choices. This is why I believe you are never “too young” to take on tasks. It is your mindset that is too young. You must grow and wish to grow, in order to truly see the world in the way that God intended. As Ecl. 11:9-10 says,
“Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, And let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; Walk in the ways of your heart, And in the sight of your eyes; But know that for all these God will bring you into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from your heart, And put away evil from your flesh, For childhood and youth are vanity.” This applies not just to men, as we know. We cannot cling to our youth, because being young means not having the wisdom and time that our elders have had. We must heed instruction and choose to pursue it. We are never too young to live as godly men and women, working towards bettering His kingdom. If not now, then when?
Our circumstances determine many of our choices. We are much more likely to be inclined to find an income if our parents are often in need of assistance. We will often take on more chores if our siblings or parents are unable, due to something preventing them from it. These things happen naturally. But it can be wrong. Sometimes you can be undeserving of such loads, or unfairly given too much responsibility. This can be hard. You still have to take on these unfair responsibilities with a servant's heart and your full effort. Your energy and attention may go unappreciated, and you may even be criticized for it. But this is not your fault. Do not become discouraged in these times, nor bitter to those who have given you these tasks. As Christ was persecuted for His services to others, live as He did, without shame and resentment. As older sisters, wives, daughters, and mothers, we must be careful not to allow ourselves to take this position over others. Eph. 6:1-4,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
Let us strive to always lead others in a godly way, as well as allow younger men and women to both grow in responsibility and Christ. Children, obey your parents. Parents, do not provoke your children or pile your own responsibilities on them. Children, do not be rebellious and shrug off your responsibilities under the excuse of age or ability, but seek to be servant hearted in all circumstances, never neglecting to grow up in grace as Christ intended. Do not compare your struggles nor your privileges to others’ and their ability to overcome trails. Be gracious to all, no matter your age or responsibility. You are never too young to be humble before your savior.
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