By Ann Weaver.
I love roses. They’re so pretty, both when they’re little buds and when they’re wide-open flowers. In fact, I really can’t decide which I like best. When they’re closed, they’re beautiful little promises of what is to come. When they have opened up and shown their glory, their delicate petals bring joy in the beauty they’ve become.
Sometimes, when you have a vase of roses that start from buds, they seem to take forever to open up. At times, one or two open up at a time, and they look a bit uneven. That can be hard to see, if you’re a perfectionist like me. Why can’t they all just open up at the same time? Wouldn’t the entire vase be a lot prettier if they had all opened on the exact same timetable?
However, even if they aren’t blooming at the same time, I know that I can’t force them open. Sure, it may work to some extent. The petals would show and the flower may open up. But what would be the result?
The rose would be damaged, of course! Irreparably damaged. Why? Because that’s not how roses are meant to open. They’re meant to unfold slowly, opening up to display their full beauty one petal at a time.
There is something else in the world that will be damaged if it’s forced to bloom too quickly, and that is a young woman. A girl needs to open into a woman at a steady, natural pace.
Sadly a girl often tries to force her delicate petals open too quickly. It can be difficult not to do so- after all, who doesn’t love an open rose? Especially one that has just bloomed, fresh and sweet in its young beauty?
While girls try to become women too quickly, they forget how beautiful the opening rose can be. The half-blown rose is esteemed sweet and lovely in so many ways, but a girl often forgets that. Instead, she tries to force open her delicate petals, often causing herself damage that she doesn’t see in the moment.
There are so many ways for a girl to force her petals open, and most of them appear harmless in the moment. Wearing a lot of makeup when their skin is still young and fresh. Reading things they shouldn’t read yet. Trying to talk and walk like a girl ten years their senior. And a lot of other things.
Most of these things are actually good things- in moderation. But it’s when the girl applies way too much makeup, reads a book that deals with difficult adult topics, or tries to appear (not be mature, but just appear) to be older than they really are that the problem comes.
When a teen girl tries to act like she’s ten or five or even three years older, she’s trying to bloom too quickly. If you disagree, imagine a six year old dressing and acting like they’re sixteen. Or eleven. Or even nine. The thought is just silly. So why is it okay for teens to do it?
When a girl tries to act like she’s older, she often succeeds. However, in reality, she is acting immature and sometimes even silly. Think about that six year old I just mentioned. If you saw them pretending, in earnest, that they were sixteen, you would probably just think it was sweet or cute and go on. As we grow older, we’re taken more seriously, but it’s still foolish for a girl to try to act too old. She is still a blooming rose, not quite open, but not still closed, either.
Now, yes, this is a fine line. Typically, the girl is the one who strains to be a young woman, but sometimes others try to rein the girl in from blooming when she should by trying to crush her petals. Crushing also hurts a rose and can also damage it irreparably. However, more often than not, a girl believes her rose is being crushed by others, while in reality her pain is simply from trying to open up before she’s ready.
Now I want to note something else: I am not talking about maturity. Maturity blooms a rose naturally, and sometimes people of the same age are more or less mature than others, just like a vase of roses may have some roses bloom early, and some that have not yet bloomed. In that case, a girl has already bloomed faster- she doesn’t have to try and open herself up, because she already has opened more. The difference is when a girl tries to hurry her blooming process by appearance and manner rather than actually trying to mature.
Does this mean you should act your age? Well that all depends on what you mean by that. If that means immature and childish, not at all! We should most certainly be mature. However, it does mean that you shouldn’t act like you’re sixteen when you’re fourteen, twenty when you’re sixteen, or twenty-five when you’re eighteen. Maturity will be something that blooms you naturally- you won’t have to force it when it comes.
When we feel the temptation to open up ahead of the time we should, let’s remember Romans 8:28:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
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