By Ann Weaver.
Suffering. We’ve all experienced it, and none of us enjoy it. From now and back to the very beginning of time, every human being has suffered in some way. We see it in the Bible too: from Genesis 3 until Revelation 22, the endurance of difficult times is a common theme.
In fact, no one can escape from suffering, even if they try. In Job 5:7, we’re told, “For man is born for trouble, as sparks fly upward.” This shows us that suffering is inevitable.
Even if no one can see the difficult time someone is going through, that doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. Many times, the worst pain comes mentally, emotionally, or in another physically hidden way. These afflictions can be ten times more difficult, but they’re also ten times more likely to be hidden.
As Christians, we are told to minister to one another when our spiritual siblings are suffering. This is shown in Galatians 6:2, which instructs us to “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” This is a command, not a suggestion or advice. We’re also told to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) Both of these passages show us that we must care for those who are experiencing trials and going through difficult times.
It sounds easy when you hear about it, but it’s much more difficult when the opportunity presents itself. This brings us to the question, how can we care for those who are suffering?
Before you do anything else, pray to the Lord for guidance. Ask him for direction in your words, timing, and actions. Ask that he would be glorified and honored in your time with the suffering person, and continue to pray as you minister to the other person.
Next, be willing to do nothing besides listen. Often, this helps more than anything else. People feel cared about and loved when you take the time to listen and respond in an understanding manner. It can be difficult to know what to say when you listen to someone pouring out their trials, but ask for the Lord’s guidance in all your responses.
While you’re listening, make sure not to minimize the trials they’re going through. Even if you don’t understand or can’t see why the situation is so difficult for them, never act as if their trials are unimportant or small. Don’t say you understand unless you actually do understand. When you say it without true knowledge, it can hurt the other person—and it’s also a lie.
During these conversations, you may find yourself needing to “…speak the truth in love…” (Ephesians 4:15) Make sure it’s in love and not as a subtle dig or in an unfeeling manner. Not only should you make sure to speak in love, but also wait for a good time. It’s probably not a good time to tell a woman all the reasons her husband may have left her while she’s still crying about the pain his absence has created, or to tell a sick man how he should have lost weight before his illness while he’s gasping for breath at the hospital. These things may be true—and you might say them in love—but it wouldn’t be the right time to say those things.
Remember that suffering does not always equal sin. Don’t point fingers like Job’s friends and try to deduce the reason the other person is suffering. It’s unfeeling, rude, and probably untrue. We don’t know all the reasons that we’re suffering, and we probably never will. All we know is what we’re told in Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” We can rest in this knowledge and leave the reasons up to Him.
Don’t forget to look at those who are affected by the suffering, too. A sick man needs your ministering, but his wife, who is watching him die, needs love and compassion as well. The unwillingly divorced husband needs assistance and care, but his children need kind conversations and practical assistance too. Suffering often affects more people than the one or two most obvious.
There are many practical ways to help people too, though you may not be able to do them all as a teen. Bringing food, watching kids, staying at the hospital while someone goes home for a shower, and offering rides are only a few examples of this. Don’t forget to ask your parents if you can do some of these things, and be understanding if they think it’s not the best thing for you to do for whatever reason.
If you’re still unsure what you could do, ask them how you can help. There may be something they greatly need, but no one has thought of it. Assure them that you’ll help in any way, then follow through if possible. If they say there’s nothing you can do, remind them that you’re open to help them out, then pray for an opportunity to minister to them.
If you’re unable to care for people in these ways due to time, physical obstacles, or something else, that’s okay. Don’t forget that prayer is the most powerful assistance of all. A person confined to their home can be the one who ministers to others the most, even when they don’t know it, simply by being a prayer warrior.
Throughout all of this, keep in mind why you’re ministering to the other person. Not only are you there to comfort them and obey the Lord, but you’re also doing it all for His glory. It’s not to make you seem like a better Christian or to get credit for your kindness when all is said and done. It’s to be faithful to Christ’s commands and give honor to the one who granted the suffering to them in the first place.
Whenever you see someone going through a difficult time, remember to minister to them if possible. Listen, speak, and help them in love, and never forget that prayer is the greatest way of help of all. Give God the glory and honor!
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