By Grace Sweeney
What is self-respect? We’ve been talking about respect this month, but what is self respect?
In a nutshell, self-respect is having a healthy regard for yourself, your character, your desires, and values. It’s having appreciation for yourself and who you are.
It’s far too easy to feel we don’t matter, especially in this day and age. Too many people base their worth on wealth, possessions, friends and family, or followers on social media. Then when those things don’t measure up, they don’t have any respect for themselves.
But those things do not define you. I repeat, they do NOT define you. Those are just parts of your life. Who you are on the inside and what God thinks of you is what defines you.
You are an amazing person. I know for certain that God loves you.
That means you’re worthy of self-respect.
In case you’re afraid that having self-respect means thinking oneself is amazing and awesome and becoming prideful, don’t worry. If you’re even thinking about that I doubt you’ll become overly prideful.
Having some pride in yourself and your abilities is a good thing though, because it means you won’t be walked all over later in life. It means you’ll be able to stand up for yourself. Just don’t start thinking you’re better than everyone else, because we’re all equal in God’s eyes.
We can have self-respect without any fear because God made us and loves us. He loves you. He has you carefully crafted into his Great Plan. That fact alone makes you worthy of self-respect.
Having self-respect means doing away with all that negative self-talk. Most of us have it at least sometimes, and some people have it a lot more than sometimes. It’s those voices that come in and say, “You’re worthless, no one loves you, you aren’t important at all.”
No. Stop listening to those.
You are important. You are loved. You are not worthless.
You’re loved by the King of the universe! He made you and He loves you. He chose you to be His daughter.
Those words are nothing but lies.
In trying to find a balance of self-respect, remember these four things:
1. Your Needs Matter
They do, I promise. Even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. They matter a lot.
You’re a human being just like everyone else, and if others have needs, so do you. Don’t put them off or brush them aside. That’s not healthy for you. (It also makes it hard for others who love you and want to help you.)
2. Take Care of Yourself
You have needs, now meet them! If you need a break, say so. If you’re tired and need extra sleep, take some. Don’t put your needs off and never meet them, because that won’t help anyone. Least of all you.
If you never meet your won needs your body will get run-down and then you’ll be forced to take even more time to rest. Recovering from something like that will be ten times harder than if you’d taken care of yourself at the start.
3. Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
We all make mistakes. We all mess up. It’s a reality of life.
Please don’t beat yourself up when you do make a mistake. Accept that you messed up, apologize if its needed, and move on. Don’t dwell there in the shame and self-pity. That will only hurt you. (Speaking from experience here.)
Yes, you messed up. Maybe pretty badly.
But that’s not the end of the road. God still loves you, and you need to love and forgive yourself.
4. Always, Always Remember That You’re Important and Loved
God created you and He loves you more than you can imagine. (See Psalm 36:7.)
Your family loves you more than you know. They value you a lot, I’m sure. Your friends love you. And I’ll say it again—God loves you more than you could ever comprehend.
You’re surrounded by people who love you, and the One who loves you more than any of them is always with you. He will never leave you or forsake you.
The fact that you are His makes you important. Worthy of importance. Worthy of respect. Worthy of love.
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” -Psalm 139:14
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