By Ella Quill.
As we come up to the time of high school graduations, we were delighted to find that Ella Quill was willing to write an article for us about taking gap years. Though we know that not everyone will decide to take a gap year, a good bit of this article also focuses on the struggle of growing up and becoming a legal adult. We hope it will bless you!
Hi, friends! I’m Ella, a homeschool graduate, avid knitter, bunny mom, and author! I graduated highschool in 2024, and I took a gap year to work on my writing and my job. Taking a gap year isn’t easy, but it certainly has its highlights. For those who are also taking a gap year or plan to, this message is for you! 😊
What is a gap year?
When a student graduates highschool, sometimes they take a year-long break before heading off to college. This year gives them time to focus, prepare, and plan for the next few years. Some students stay at home to spend more time with family. Other students go on a mission trip to have a chance to serve. Or they live somewhere on their own and get a job to save some money. Either way, a gap year is a great way to refocus and recenter yourself before the next big chapter of your life.
A gap year isn’t always easy waters, however. It can be hard to fit in and find young adults in your age and season of life. Let’s dive into some of these rough rapids of taking a gap year.
The Rapids
You Won’t Always Be Included
If you’re like me, and your family is part of a homeschool group or co-op, you’ve always had fun extracurriculars to participate in. Unfortunately, once you graduate, you can’t participate in these events. It’s hard to stand by and watch your fellow thespians act on stage together while you wait in the wings. It’s difficult when your friends leave you alone to go to youth group. It’s discouraging when you suddenly don’t have anything in common with your friends because they’re still in school, and you aren’t.
Even if you go to a public or private school, it still hurts to no longer be included in such events.
You Won’t Always Fit In
Once you graduate/turn eighteen, you’re in a different group than everyone else. You’re too old for the youth group, homeschool group, theater group, etc. It’s even difficult to find things to talk about with your friends. While all of your friends are complaining about the finals and exams coming up, you stand awkwardly to the side. You’re just not a young teen anymore, you’re an adult.
You Won’t Always Be a Kid
Everyone grows up eventually, it just happens. You can’t always hold your mom’s hand while going to the grocery store. You can’t always depend on your dad to do the talking for you at the bank. You can’t sit and waste time by doing whatever you want when you should be working. You’re not a kid anymore, you’re a young adult, and you need to face that fact.
Growing up/graduating feels like you’re suddenly tossed into a cold river and told to swim on your own. You have to keep your head above the water. You go up and down, up and down, struggling to survive this freezing rapid. Get a job. Feel left out by your friends. Keep working. Feel like you don’t fit in. Tell yourself it will soon be over.
The Calm
Thankfully, we have a Savior who can still the seas and calm the storms of life. And He walks on water! When you feel like you’re going under, reach out to God; He’s always there to pull you back up.
Jesus has taught me that taking a gap year isn’t only rapids…there’s smooth sailing as well, as long as you’re walking by Jesus’ side.
You’ll Won’t Always Be Alone
When you feel alone because you’re once again not included in some event or rather, REMEMBER THIS: God has promised that 1. You are His (Galatians 4:4-7) and that 2. He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:8 and Matthew 28:20) As long as you are in God’s hands, you won’t ever be alone. He will be alongside you every step of the way, even if you can’t tell. I’m reminded of the beautiful poem Footsteps in the Sand, a poem that reassures us that God is always with us.
So even though you feel alone in this stage of life, know that God sees you and is with you.
You’ll Always Have a Friend
Sometimes in this season of life, you may not have many friends. All of your friends may have decided to go to college, while you’re at home. It’s hard when you don’t have the close-distance relationships that you’re used to. When you feel lonely, REMEMBER THIS: God has promised that He is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)
I’m an older sibling, and I don’t know about you, but my brothers are very close to me. My youngest brother is physically close, as in he’s always begging for my attention and being in my personal space. And my other brother is close to me as a friend. There’s nothing that I haven’t shared with him. He’s been my best friend my whole life. Maybe you have a sibling like that. Or a parent, grandparent, or friend.
God sticks closer to us than even those special people in your life. God is there when you need love, or encouragement.
God is also Jehovah Jireh, and he will provide friends for you in the most unlikely places! If you’re longing for that physical relationship, I know that God will provide for you…you just have to be open to his blessings!
Growing Up is Good
Growing up can seem scary. All of sudden there’s colleges to apply for, licenses to get, tests to take, and your whole life to think about! I know I would much rather hide from the world by getting cozy in my room and reading a good book. Growing up and graduating is a lot to think about, but the change is good for you. If you take a gap year, you get a chance to ease more into growing up. You get a chance to be independent while still living at home. When you get a job, you learn how to handle things maturely and responsibly.
An Adventure Awaits You
Don’t be scared like Peter Pan of growing up. It’s going to be a big adventure, and if you know anything about adventures, they are full of obstacles and never go according to plan. Think about the Lord of the Rings, for example. Nothing went according to plan, yet Frodo and Sam pushed on. In your life, it may seem like you have a heavy burden around your neck. More colleges to tour. Classes to take. Tests to ace. Jobs to apply for. But don’t give up, friend. Along this journey you’ll have people like Gandalf and Sam to lead you on. You won’t ever be alone, even if it’s tough and you feel like no one sees you. God does, and He’s always a prayer away.
Conclusion
If you are going through some of the above struggles, I hope that this encouraged you, friend. This stage of life is a tricky one, full of rapids and twists and turns, but we have a friend who is closer than a brother and will never ever leave us. So hang tight, friend. Keep pushing, keep going. Think of growing up like Bilbo does. It’s going to be fun, I promise!
Ella Quill is a young writer who is passionate about using her God-given gift to serve others. She’s always grown up telling stories to herself and others but started pursuing writing more seriously in 2020. Her debut as a published author was in the autumn of 2023 when she published her Christmas novella, Tales from Bethlehem. When she and her pet rabbit aren’t coming up with the next story idea, she loves to sing Christian theater songs, knit, eat chocolate, and read good books.
What were your thoughts on this article? Will you be taking a gap year? Let us know by commenting to this post!
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